Celebrating the Inchstone: Small Wins Matter More Than You Think

We all know the big moments: the first word, the first steps, the first day of school. They’re framed, recorded, and often immortalized in baby books or shared online with the kind of joy that feels like fireworks. And rightly so—these are milestones, the landmarks of a child’s journey.

But there’s another kind of moment parents are learning to cherish. It doesn’t come with a certificate or a doctor’s note. You won’t always see it coming, and it probably won’t be Instagram-worthy. It might look like your toddler putting their shoes on by themselves or saying “please” without prompting. It could be your preschooler sleeping through the night or a hard-won moment of potty progress.

These are inchstones—the subtle, everyday victories that mark slow and steady progress. And more parents are starting to celebrate them, recognizing that not every win needs to be monumental to matter.

The term “inchstone” emerged as a gentle pushback against our milestone-obsessed culture. While milestones track broad developmental timelines—sitting, crawling, walking, reading—inchstones focus on the individual steps it takes to get there. Think of them as the in-between moments, the micro-progress that builds the foundation for everything else.

For some families, especially those raising neurodivergent children or kids with developmental delays, inchstones are already a way of life. They’re used to tracking growth on their child’s unique timeline, where every inch forward deserves celebration. But increasingly, even families with typically developing children are embracing the practice, especially in a world that often pushes both parents and kids to hit arbitrary benchmarks at lightning speed.

Inchstones are a form of mindful parenting. They ask us to slow down and notice—not just what our kids accomplish, but how they get there. And in that noticing, there’s a deep kind of joy and connection.

The Problem with Milestone Pressure

There’s nothing wrong with celebrating milestones. They give us a framework for tracking development, they bring communities together in celebration, and they help reassure us that things are generally on track. But the flip side is that they can also create enormous pressure—on kids, and on parents.

If your child isn’t walking at 13 months, or talking in full sentences by 2, or reading by 5, the anxiety creeps in. Comparison becomes a thief not just of joy, but of confidence. Parents begin to wonder if they’re doing something wrong. Kids, in turn, may feel the weight of adult worry even before they can name it.

Inchstones offer an antidote. They invite us to pay attention to progress, not just performance. They let us celebrate that your child said five new words today—even if they’re not yet stringing together full sentences. That they picked up a crayon and made a scribble—even if it’s not yet a masterpiece.

Inchstones shift the focus from the outcome to the process. And that’s where most of childhood lives.

How to Embrace the Inchstone Mindset

You don’t need a Pinterest board or a handmade sign to celebrate an inchstone. (Though if you want to make one, by all means!) What matters is the mindset: noticing, appreciating, and naming the small steps your child takes as they grow.

Here are a few simple ways to make inchstones a part of your family’s rhythm:

1. Say it out loud.
“You put your coat on all by yourself!” “I noticed you shared that toy without me reminding you.” “You stayed dry all night!” Naming progress builds self-awareness and confidence.

2. Keep a shared journal or calendar.
Write down a few small wins each week. Over time, you’ll see a record of growth that’s far more meaningful than height charts alone.

3. Share the joy.
Instead of posting only milestone moments, share inchstones with trusted friends and family. “No tantrums during teeth brushing today!” might seem small, but other parents will get it—and cheer with you.

4. Redefine success.
Focus less on where your child “should” be and more on where they were last week. Growth is growth, no matter the pace.

5. Be your child’s narrator.
Help them see their own growth. “Remember when you couldn’t zip your jacket? Look at you now!” This builds intrinsic motivation and pride.

A Celebration for All Kinds of Kids

The inchstone approach is particularly powerful for families whose children don’t follow conventional timelines. For parents of kids with learning disabilities, autism, ADHD, or other developmental differences, inchstones aren’t just feel-good moments. They’re survival strategies—ways to stay grounded in progress when the path looks different.

It’s also an inclusive way to build community. When we normalize inchstones, we create space for more kinds of success. We teach kids that effort matters. That every brain learns at its own pace. That getting better at something, even slowly, is something to be proud of.

There’s also a benefit for parents. Parenting is often a thankless job filled with invisible work. Inchstones offer little moments of validation. They remind us that we’re making a difference, that the routine repetition of brushing teeth, cutting grapes, and reading the same book for the fiftieth time is paying off.

In a world obsessed with “firsts” and “fastest,” inchstones are quiet victories. They don’t usually come with applause or cake. But they’re the building blocks of childhood—and of confidence, connection, and growth.

So the next time your child remembers to wash their hands without being told, or finally agrees to try a new vegetable, pause. Smile. Say it out loud.

That’s an inchstone. And it’s worth celebrating.