How to Survive the Holidays With Kids Under Five
by Alexander Tidd
The holiday season with little kids is a magical, chaotic, sugar-fueled fever dream. One minute they’re mesmerized by a tree lighting; the next they’re face-down on the sidewalk because their mitten “felt spicy.” If you’re parenting anyone under five right now, you already know that December is beautiful and exhausting.
Between family gatherings, travel, late-night events, and over-stimulating everything, it’s easy to feel like you’re one tantrum away from canceling the whole season. But with a little planning, a dash of flexibility, and the right mindset, you can create a holiday experience that’s joyful for your kids and survivable for you.
Let’s talk strategy.
Pick the Right Events, Not Every Event
The biggest mistake parents make during the holidays is assuming more is better. But not every event is built for tiny humans. In fact, very few are. So instead of packing your calendar like you’re starring in your own Hallmark movie, focus on the events that are actually kid-friendly.
Outdoor light shows? Great. Kids can run around, there’s no whispering requirement, and no one cares if your toddler decides to narrate loudly. Short concerts where kids are encouraged to dance? Also great. Events where sitting still and being quiet for 90 minutes is required? Hard pass.
Same rule applies to parades, holiday markets, and Santa visits. Go early, go fast, keep expectations low, and always bring snacks. Your sanity is worth more than squeezing in “just one more activity.”
Manage Expectations Like a Pro
If your child is under five, there’s a good chance they won’t remember the details of this holiday season. What they will remember is how it felt: cozy, fun, calm-ish, filled with love and routine.
So don’t chase perfection. Don’t try to recreate your grandmother’s twelve-course holiday dinner. Don’t force them to sit on Santa’s lap if they’re terrified. Don’t worry if your tree looks like it was decorated by raccoons with glitter.
Your toddler doesn’t care about aesthetic. They care that you’re present, not stressed to the point of becoming a Christmas ghost.
Keep Them Entertained at Adult-Oriented Events
You will inevitably find yourself at something not designed for children — an office party, a neighborhood party, or a family gathering that drags into bedtime territory. Here’s how to survive with your dignity intact:
Bring a “holiday survival kit.”
This should include:
crayons
stickers
fidget toys
small snacks
a book
one quiet toy they love
a “break glass in emergency” small treat
You’re not spoiling them. You’re keeping them from dismantling someone’s nativity scene.
Have a designated escape plan.
Take short walks outside. Find a quiet room. Bring them to the car for a quick reset. Breaking up stimulation in small chunks keeps meltdowns at bay.
Rotate activities like a cruise director.
Two minutes of coloring, two minutes of a snack, two minutes exploring the Christmas tree ornaments (ones that won’t shatter). Variety is your friend.
Embrace screens when needed.
You can be a screen-limits parent in January. This is survival season.
Maintain Routines as Much as Humanly Possible
Small kids do not understand “special occasions.” They understand routines: naps, meal times, bedtime rituals. When those are disrupted, chaos happens.
Try to anchor the day around the big things:
a consistent nap (or quiet time)
a familiar bedtime routine
meals that feel normal
If bedtime is late, start the calming routine early. If travel throws everything off, recreate small familiar rituals — read the same book, pack the same pajamas, bring the same bedtime stuffed toy. Kids feel safe when something is predictable, even if everything else is unfamiliar.
Prepare for Meltdowns (Because They’re Guaranteed)
Holiday overstimulation is real. Lights, music, unfamiliar people, sugar, late nights — it’s a sensory hurricane. Expect meltdowns. Plan for them. Don’t take them personally.
When the meltdown hits:
get low and speak softly
take them to a calm space
offer a comfort object
validate their feelings (“This is a lot. I get it.”)
breathe with them
And when it’s over, don’t dwell. Kids bounce back faster than adults do.
Create Simple Traditions
Your holiday traditions do not have to be impressive to be meaningful. In fact, the simpler, the better.
Try these toddler-friendly options:
a hot cocoa walk around the neighborhood lights
making one batch of cookies (pre-made dough counts)
reading the same holiday book every night
letting your child pick one ornament for the tree each year
a holiday dance party in the living room
These are the moments your child will remember — not the fancy event you dragged everyone to while whisper-yelling, “This is supposed to be fun!”
The holidays with kids under five are messy, loud, unpredictable, and incredibly sweet. You’re not doing it wrong — this stage is just wild. Focus on connection, not perfection. Choose joy over obligation. Keep snacks in your pocket at all times.
And remember: in about 20 years, you’ll look back on this chaos and think, “That was the good stuff.”
