When It’s Hard to Be Happy
by Alexander Tidd
Parenting can feel like trying to juggle eggs on a unicycle during an earthquake. Some days you’re up at sunrise, throwing frozen waffles on plates and negotiating the emotional terms of sock-wearing. Other days you’re quietly questioning if you’re actually doing any of this right—or if you’re just dragging yourself from one chaotic moment to the next with coffee and stubborn love holding everything together.
And when you're not feeling great about yourself, your work, your relationship, or your energy level, it’s really hard to be the cheerful, patient, endlessly resourceful parent or partner you hoped you'd be. It can be hard to remember this doesn't make you weak. It makes you human.
You’re Not Alone
If you’re reading this while hiding in your car in the driveway or sitting on the bathroom floor with a cold cup of coffee wondering when life got so…heavy, please hear this: You are not alone. There are so many of us going through the motions, doing our best, and feeling like our best still isn’t enough. Some days it feels like we’re showing up for everyone except ourselves. The joy is dimmed. The laughter feels forced. And even though we love our kids and our partners deeply, we might feel disconnected from the person we used to be.
That's not just stress. Sometimes, it's depression. Sometimes, it's burnout. And sometimes it's just that cumulative ache that builds up when you’ve been pouring from an empty cup for far too long.
The truth is, it’s hard to stay positive when you haven’t had space to be anything but responsible. It’s hard to feel hopeful when you haven’t had rest. And it’s hard to be your best self when you haven’t felt like yourself in months.
Recharging Isn’t Selfish—It’s Necessary
You might think, “But my kids need me. My partner needs me. I can’t just check out.” But here’s a secret: you’re allowed to step away. Not forever. Not to run off to a mountain commune (unless that’s your thing). But for an hour, or an afternoon, or even just a long shower without interruption.
Recharging your emotional batteries is not a luxury. It’s essential maintenance. Go for a walk. Watch a show that has nothing to do with educational cartoons. Call a friend and actually talk about you. Let your partner pick up the slack for a bit, even if they load the dishwasher all wrong.
When you step back, even briefly, you give yourself the chance to breathe, recalibrate, and remember that you're not just a parent or a partner. You're a person. You matter.
Helping Others Helps You, Too
Here’s something else I’ve learned: one of the best ways to pull yourself out of a depressive spiral is to help the people you love succeed. Not in the do-everything-for-them sense, but in the small, meaningful ways that bring connection back into your home.
Cheer for your child when they learn to tie their shoes. Celebrate your partner’s small work win like they landed a rocket on Mars. Write a note, give a hug, say “I see you.” It doesn’t fix everything, but it shifts the perspective. Instead of feeling like everything is being asked of you, you start to remember that you’re part of something. And that something is full of love—even if it’s a little messy.
Parenting is full of tiny, exhausting, beautiful wins. That first belly laugh. A surprisingly thoughtful drawing of your face. A hug that comes out of nowhere. Those moments matter. Sometimes they save you.
Some Real Ways to Feel Better
If you’re struggling to feel like yourself, here are a few things that can help. Not magic solutions, but real, usable tools:
Talk about it. Tell someone. A friend, a therapist, your partner. Naming what you’re going through can take the edge off.
Lower the bar. Some days, "I kept everyone alive and made coffee" is enough. You don’t need to be Pinterest-worthy.
Move your body. Dance in the kitchen. Walk around the block. Stretch during cartoons. You’re not training for a marathon. You’re just reminding your body you’re still in it.
Be silly. Laugh with your kids, even when you’re tired. Read a funny book. Watch an old comedy. Laughter is emotional CPR.
And yes, remind yourself: this hard moment is not forever.
Let Them See You Come Back
Kids don’t need perfect parents. They need present ones. And they benefit from watching you struggle and come back from it. It teaches them that hard days happen, but they don’t define us. That love is about showing up. That sadness is part of life, and healing is possible.
They’ll see your tears and your grit. They’ll see you rest. They’ll see you laugh again.
And you? You’ll remember that you’re not just holding a family together. You’re part of the family too. You deserve joy. You deserve support. You deserve to feel good.
So if you’re not there yet, that’s okay. But don’t give up on yourself. Because your presence matters, and your light is still in there—even if it’s flickering. Let’s help each other find it again.
