Sleep Don’t Come Easy
by Alexander Tidd
My son is almost four years old, and he still doesn’t sleep through the night. There it is. While plenty of parenting books promise that kids will “figure it out” eventually, some of us are still wandering the house at 2:00 a.m. holding a glass of water in one hand and a stuffed animal in the other.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. The world is full of tired parents, scrolling their phones in the dark, whispering “why won’t you just sleep” to themselves. Nighttime struggles don’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. They mean you are human, raising another human, and sometimes biology and temperament do not align with the dream of eight uninterrupted hours.
So let’s commiserate, then talk about what can help. And just as importantly, let’s talk about how to survive the day when sleep feels like a luxury.
Sleep troubles look different for every family. Some kids can’t settle down at bedtime, stalling with “just one more story.” Others wake up in the middle of the night and struggle to fall back asleep without help. And some kids sleep fine for a while, then regress when big changes happen—moving houses, starting school, or welcoming a new sibling.
Experts say factors like temperament, environment, and even genetics can play a role. Some kids are simply more sensitive to changes in routine or more prone to anxiety. For me, knowing my child isn’t broken helps take away some of the guilt. Their little bodies and brains just need extra time to learn what rest feels like.
Tips for Helping Everyone Sleep More
Every family’s solution looks a little different, but here are a few strategies that can make a real difference. Apologies if you’ve heard them all before, but it bears repeating.
Stick to a routine. A predictable bedtime sequence—bath, story, cuddle, lights out—tells your child’s body it’s time to sleep. Consistency is the secret ingredient.
Keep the room sleep-friendly. Dark curtains, a steady white noise machine, and a comfortable temperature can minimize those middle-of-the-night wakeups.
Avoid overstimulation before bed. Screens, sugary snacks, or roughhousing right before bedtime can keep kids wired. Swap them for calm activities like puzzles or quiet play.
Offer reassurance without overdoing it. If your child wakes, check in, comfort them, but resist starting the whole bedtime process over again. Sometimes less attention in the middle of the night helps them learn to settle themselves.
Know when to seek help. If sleep issues are chronic and impacting health, talk to your pediatrician. Sleep specialists exist for kids too.
None of these tips are magic bullets. But together, they can build an environment where sleep has a fighting chance.
Surviving the Day When You’re Exhausted
Even with the best strategies, many parents still face long nights. The question then becomes: how do you function during the day? Here are a few survival tricks that can help keep you upright when your tank is running on fumes.
Lower the bar. Today may not be the day for elaborate meals or ambitious errands. Sandwiches for dinner are fine. So are cereal nights.
Tag-team if you can. If you have a partner, take shifts so each of you gets at least one block of rest. If you’re solo, lean on grandparents, neighbors, or friends if possible. My heart goes out to anyone doing it alone.
Nap with your child. Forget the dishes and grab rest when they do. Ten minutes of sleep is better than none.
Prioritize the essentials. Focus on hydration, a little exercise, and some sunlight. These small things help reset your body and mind.
Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that this season is temporary. You are not failing because you are tired—you are tired because you are doing one of the hardest jobs there is.
Finding Comfort in Community
One of the most helpful things in dealing with a child who doesn’t sleep through the night is knowing you’re not the only one. It may feel like every other parent has a magical unicorn child who goes to bed at seven and wakes up at seven, but the reality is messier.
Many parents are in the same boat, quietly struggling, showing up bleary-eyed at preschool drop-off, nursing coffee through work meetings, and dreaming of one uninterrupted night. Talk about it with other parents. Laugh about it when you can. Connection can carry you when exhaustion makes everything feel heavier.
Helping your child learn to sleep through the night can take years, not months, and that’s okay. While you keep trying the strategies that fit your family best, remember that survival matters too. Kids will eventually get there, even if it takes longer than the books say. In the meantime, every middle-of-the-night cuddle, every whispered reassurance, and every groggy morning is a reminder that love doesn’t keep office hours.
So if you’re reading this with heavy eyelids and a half-drunk cup of coffee, know this: you’re not alone. Your child will learn to sleep in time. And until then, you are doing more than enough, even if it doesn’t feel like it at three in the morning.
